Sunday, January 30, 2005

New York New York :)

NY#1 - me and josh, originally uploaded by Rachelkap.

I could give you all a play by play of my recent trip to New York, but really if I wanted you there with me I would have invited you. Hehe. So, instead I will give some highlights, in the hopes that you will see how in love with that city I really am…despite all it's flaws. In a way New York is like a significant other. You love him/it for what it is. You accept the flaws as part of the person. Sometimes the city might piss you off and other times it makes you the happiest girl alive. Sometimes the city is romantic. And, certain circumstances can bring you to orgasm. My relationship with New York had a great week.

My whole family plus Josh went to Long Island first for my cousin Shane's Bar Mitzvah.
~ Josh survived the family although at times it was looking a bit overwhelming
~ I had a great time with all my young cousins. They are growing up to be beautiful children
~ My Aunt Sherry (Snookie) continued to be a laugh riot and I am pretty sure I saw flirting with my boyfriend.
~ My family proved to be loud, obnoxious, lunatics regardless of what coast they might be on. Add an entire weekend of non-stop alcohol and we had ourselves a real party

Josh and I take on the city

- Wicked - the boyfriend entertains.
- Good Vibrations - the boyfriend can sing
- Walking the city - the boyfriend and you can do not much of anything and still have a great time
- Union Square - the boyfriend has some hidden beauty
- Shopping - the boyfriend treats you to pretty things
- The weather - Yes sometimes the boyfriend can get cold. We all have our faults.
- Central Park - the boyfriend can get romantic
- Snow - the boyfriend sometimes gives you the unexpected
- Museum of Modern Art - the boyfriend teaches you something new
- Meeting Josh's friends - the boyfriend introduces you to new people

I have the say the greatest part about this trip was walking in the city all day long. My past trips involved the prissy girl act of taking cabs everywhere and since Josh just would not have it, we walked everywhere. At times I wanted to kick Josh's ass for doing this, not because I could not walk, but because it was 12 degrees outside and I felt like my face was going to fall off. However, once I got used to being numb I got to just absorb the city. Breathing in the crisp air, people watching, smelling the roasted nuts in the street, passing by all the little shops, and really looking at how unique all the buildings were. It is like a comfortable silence, despite all the noise.

Josh took me around to all his old haunts, mainly Union Square, his old work, to the apartment of his best friend Stacey and her boyfriend Johnny, who were awesome, and the Staten Island Ferry. I loved seeing New York from his perspective because he loves it just as much as I do. He acts like a little kid in a candy shop there which is refreshing.

Our last day in New York Josh and I took a romantic stroll through Central Park, up through Strawberry fields and to the Dakota where we paid our respects to my dear John Lennon. The Dakota, despite being famous for having John die there, is a gorgeous complex. From there we used our last few hours of New York just walking down through Columbus and taking in the atmosphere.

We managed to see two shows while in New York as well. Wicked, which is based on the Gregory Maguire book, and Good Vibrations, which is based on Beach Boys music. Wicked was entertaining but nothing extraordinary. Good Vibrations, which was still in previews, was astounding. I loved every minute of it. Josh student rushed front row tickets so we were so close I could see every little detail. I even got my hand kissed by one of the actors during the finale. : )

I have to say this recent trip to New York was my favorite trip so far. Not only because I got to see my wonderful family, but because I got to just BE in New York as I could be here at home. It was also great being there with Josh, who aside from the city, was also a great boyfriend. However, some things should be kept private.

Central Park

NY#16 - central park, originally uploaded by Rachelkap.

Don't you just love TImes Square

NY#8 - me and josh, originally uploaded by Rachelkap.

ignore the hot couple...look how HOT the city is. :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

People to see. Places to do. So much to say. So little time.

I did manage to have a safe trip home from New York. However, for the past few days I have been sick and everything on this computer is a blur. I had a fabulous time in the Big Apple and I promise to write tons about it, along with fantabulous pictures, very soon.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Aesthetics. Beauty. The Sublime…The truth...

The romantic poets wrote and based their life upon the pursuit of aesthetics. There are magazines devoted to it. Billions of dollars are spent every year on the quest and upkeep of it. Beauty. Really, what is it? Who decides what is beautiful and what is not?

As a girl, a confident self assured girl no less, I have to admit the pursuit of beauty is something even I constantly think about. I own thousands of dollars worth of beauty products, makeup, “pretty” clothes, even books about beauty. However, if what a woman really wants most is a guy to look at her in her pajamas, no makeup and messy hair and tell her she is beautiful, why then is using outside forces to make us (what we think is) more beautiful so important? I wonder if one day women can see themselves in their truest form and see beauty. Instead we rely on that perfect blend of eye shadow, concealer, some nice lip-gloss and a hair dryer. We feel naked and ugly without some shimmery eye shadow or something so simple as a hair straightener. It is not a man’s fault. It is ours. We torture ourselves to be polished and pretty when it is the guy who really loves us who will see us frazzled and love it.

If you read a “girly” magazine, 60% of what is in there is devoted to teaching us how to “make us better looking.” Well what the fuck is wrong with us in the first place? Not every girl should look like a plastic Barbie doll. Every girl is different and maybe that is what makes us all so pretty.

Probably the other 40% of these magazines is how a woman should lose weight. Now I admit, diet advice is ok (if done in a healthy way) because as a whole this country is getting unhealthily fat. But again, who decided that every woman had to be skinny to be pretty? For a long time in my life I was obsessed with being skinny. Genetics tell me I will never be anything but small and petite, however, I was obsessed with being skinnier than everyone. The smallest of the bunch. So I set out to lose more weight than my body could ever handle. I was on the verge of starving myself, I even threw up food a couple of times, and 80% of my thoughts revolved around what I was planning to eat and do in the way of exercise in a given day. Why? For a compliment from someone who would never love me for me anyway because all they see is a skinny body? It took me a long time but I finally figured out my body is just fine the way it is. I got it into my head that it is ok for a woman to gain and lose 5 pounds in a year. I got it into my head that my body, at its normal weight like it is now, is pretty just the way it is. Of course, I am still skinny, I just don’t look sick. Problem is, if a woman who is slightly chubby, has more curves than the average model, or is healthy but just naturally big boned, they think something is wrong with them. This is all bullshit. I have a friend who will never be “skinny.” She just naturally has bigger bones and with eating healthy and exercising she is still what most would call “of average weight.” She is one of the most gorgeous girls I know. She radiates beauty and yet by “model” standards those magazines would tell her she needed to lose weight.

The romantic poets could look at a volcano and say it is beautiful. They saw beauty in any forest and all types of bodies. We could learn something from them. We can see beauty everywhere and actually just love us just the way we are. It is our differences that make us that way anyway. Besides our parents think we are gorgeous. Our friends all think we are gorgeous. And, like I said, any man who loves you will see you clean faced, in your baggy PJ’s and see the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Maybe if we started to see ourselves that way, we WOULD get healthy.

If eyes were made for seeing, Then Beauty is its own excuse for being. – Emerson

If to her share some female errors fall, Look on her face, and you'll forget them all. – Alexander Pope

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,' - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. – John Keats

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Storm Watch 2005!!!

You know you live in Southern California when the top stories on the news are the massive amounts of rain we’ve been having, and the unfortunate separation of Brad and Jennifer. You got to love our news.

So the New Year went off great and I am now, once again, in a transitional period of my life. I am no longer at my job and in the midst of looking for a new one. Where will it be? I have not a damn clue. Lets hope I find one soon though because I am broke. I am as broke as a New York City street rat. Let me ask, how is it possible that a girl who comes from a wealthy family, is surrounded by enough books and DVDs to fill a Borders and takes up three closets worth of clothes, broke? Oh there is my answer….

Time to cut back. Or I can go the “save Karyn” route and smile and ask for charity on a website. Hey it worked for her.

Now on a lighter note….

It is now less than a week away from my trip to New York. I got my dress today and am all set to go. Words cannot describe how excited I am to go so I am not even going to try. Lets just say it is nothing short of orgasmic. We are already seeing Wicked and Josh and I plan to take in one more show. We are looking at Good Vibrations and if I can I am going to drag Josh kicking and screaming to the show that changed my life…Les Miserables. I will get him to it somehow!

The past few weeks, for reasons beyond my control, I have been a little bit down. I have not been down about anything really, being that everything in my life is just peachy….but I have been in one of those “black cloud” states and thankfully I seem to be coming out of it. What I hate most about these lulls is how it seems to affect every aspect of ones life. I have been bitchy and moody. I have been annoyed with everyone and everything. I must have been great company. Really though, what the hell do I have to be down about? I read recently that there have been a number of rapes of children and teens by rescuers during this whole Tsunami disaster. So really, I have NOTHING to be down about. Ugh.

When I was a young child, sometimes (and I am talking two years old here) my brother and me would get thrown in the bath together. I love my mother; she is one of my best friends. However, tonight she actually revealed a picture of said bath moment to Josh. Welcome to my mother…leave tact at the door.

Maybe next week she will bring out all my naked baby pictures and we can have a grand ole’ time!

And now off to build my arc…