Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Are men and women really that different?

The short answer is yes, they really are.

Is this politically incorrect? Only if one makes it so. Being different is not a bad thing.

Right now the a big factor in determining a women’s life is if and when she will have kids, and will she work or stay at home and raise them. Some women think they are giving up many things if they stay at home to raise their kids, falling into the trap of “desperate housewife” and failing to contribute to society by working as a career woman. They forget that raising children contribute to society in many more ways.

More so women feel like, post feminism has left them with the idea that they can do everything a man does in regard to career and otherwise. Women are better than men is a mantra that is given repeatedly. The problem is most of these women who fight genetics and environment to climb upon a podium as high as their male counterpart are helping the stereotype they wish to fight. The basic argument of these women is to fight the gender stereotype by being “more like a man.” Well why would a women want to be? Why can’t a women be happy being a women and different than a man. Doesn’t that give them more power anyway? Doesn’t that raise them to a higher level even though it’s a different podium than men?

It would seem to me that a women to embraces her womanly features, her nurturing nature, and her ability to have children, with pride, would be fighting the system for more women’s rights than someone who tries to fight that and be more like exactly what they are trying to fight.

Here is a simple fact. Estrogen makes one more emotional and therefore more in tune to others emotions. It makes them more nurturing as well. These two attributes make a woman more apt to taking care of a baby. Testosterone makes one more aggressive and focused; a great attribute for getting ahead in business. Women can multitask. Men have tunnel vision. If men have no qualms about who they are and don’t try to change themselves to be more of a “Mr. Mom” type then why do women feel the need to be more like a man. It is as if these women are saying that the male sex is the superior sex.

Sounds kind of contradictory to me.

Before anyone decides to shoot me here I must state the fact that some women have to work while having babies and some choose to not because they have to but because they have a job that they love. This is ok... everything is a personnel choice. But it is women that do things to set out and prove they can be better I have a real problem with.

It seems to be that our American society has always gone to the extremes when it comes to the way women feel about themselves and their role. The 50s took submission to the extreme with articles written in women’s magazines about what a wife should do for her husband when he came home from work so he felt good.

We then took it to the complete opposite extreme, throwing away the “traditional” family unit when we had women burning bras (have no idea who could be so stupid to do this bras are expensive), and refusing to get married saying it discredited them.

Now we are stuck. We are stuck between solid traditional family values, an idea that is very prominent in my community of Orange County, and a weird mix of post feminist rants like, “I want to work but I also want to raise 3 three kids and do everything 24 hours a day.”

What is the balance?

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I am now living in sin

I know I have not been updating lately. I have been in the middle of some very big changes in my life.

I needed time to just sit and think after Grandpa Jimmy passed away. I was then in the midst of moving into my new home.

Yes that is right…I am living in sin.

I am cohabitating.

I am, as my great grandmother says, sampling the menu before I buy.

I am now officially moved in with the BF. Everyone told me it would be an “adjustment” and “a learning experience.” Actually…it has not been an adjustment at all, except I write this from my laptop on our couch instead of my parents couch back at their place (it still feels weird to call it “their” place.)

To be honest, not much has changed. I stayed over most nights anyway and I already had loads of stuff here. I think it is probably more of an “adjustment” for the BF. I took over the place.

The bathroom and vanity now looks like a makeup counter at Nordstrom’s. My clothes take up most of the closet space we have, and my cabbage patch kid that I have had since I was two now sits comfortably on a chair. The BF calls it, “Hurricane Rachel.” Ha freaking Ha.

There has, come to think of it, been one adjustment. Before I moved in, if I was…umm….surfing the crimson wave, I would just stay home for a couple of days.

See I turn into a raging loony. I become a bitch. A monster. A hormonal roller coaster. Plus I feel very unsexy.

So what happens 3 days after I officially move in? I get my monthly psychotic meltdown. Poor BF.

Aside from that, and fighting over who gets tivo privileges during prime time, there have not been any big disagreements.

Week one – we don’t hate each other yet. Lets see how week two goes.