Friday, June 30, 2006

Make Your Life a pretty Photo Album and only put the best pictures you have in it.

Here is the thing; you cannot have a universe without the mind entering into it. That is basic quantum physics. (Ha you all think I don’t know about physics think again!)

And so, essentially, you create your own universe by what you think about. (I might delve into that later)

If this is all known why would anyone think anything bad?

On Tuesday I had a Radiohead concert down in San Diego at a venue called Embarcadero (not even sure if that is the correct spelling). I packed up my bags on Monday and headed down for a mini vacation full of fun, sun and music. Of course, I also then forgot my cell phone charger thus disabling me from any form of communication whether it is Internet or mobile for almost 48 hours.

That was actually pretty cool!

Embarcadero is just a giant lawn they make into a venue during the summer. It is right on the water. Knowing this, next time we won’t even have to buy tickets because people just dock their boats to watch the concerts or just climb the rocks of the jetty. It was absolutely stunning!

As I was standing there, with Radiohead playing an awesome show, the warm breeze, and the view of the city as well as the Harbor I got to thinking…

If our lives are like a photo album, why would we treat it any different than our regular photo albums?

When we get pictures back (or upload them on the computer) we don’t put the sucky shitty ones where we look like crap in the photo. The ones with our eyes closed or the less than flattering photos always get let go, thrown away, discarded like yesterdays trash.

Our experiences in life are like snapshots. Sometimes the snapshots are shitty and we are cast in an unfavorable light. Sometimes those snapshots show us crying.

But then there are the good snapshots. There are those pictures in our heads of happy times, love, ecstasy, fulfillment, fun, and laughter.

And, as we are gathering our data, moving along this journey, wouldn’t it be the better thing to just put the best snapshots into our album and let go of the rest. Let go of the painful ones and the sad ones. Think about the good times and you might find your album is full of a million things to appreciate.

I have so many snapshots to think of and be happy. There are these little pockets of memories that remind me that life has been pretty damn fantastic so far.

Walking into the Coliseum with my breath being taken out from under me – Snapshot

Walking through Strawberry Fields in Central Park on a brisk winters day – Snapshot

My first REM show when I was 13 – Snapshot

New Mexico (classified info) – snapshot

Skinny-dipping at 4:00 AM in Aruba

First kisses

First….ummmm…ya know.

First time it is actually good.

When someone looks you in the eye and tells you they love you.

Playing with your dog

Opening up the perfect gift. (cause I always love gifts *cough* hint hint *cough*)

The perfect baseball game. (ALDS comes to mind)

Reading that book that changes your life (i.e The Alchemist, Count of Monte Cristo, Meditations and Something Wicked This Way Comes)

Every single time you laugh…and make sure you do that every day

They are all snapshots to be put in my album. And if you really stop to think about it, they outweigh the sad or bad times by a million.

So I stood there, rocking out to Radiohead with the ocean to one side of me and the city to the other. I knew I was creating another snapshot. It was another moment I would look back on with appreciation and love. I guess I just thought, Wow what a great life to live.

Either that…or I just had one too many plastic cups of cheap beer.

You create your life by what you put into it. So what is going to go into yours?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Have Fun With The Things You Like….Joke Around…
Act Goofy….It all makes life more fun.


“Rachel I think you have a dangerous obsession with asses,” My good friend B told me.

“It is not dangerous I just like asses…can I touch yours on Saturday”?

For those that don’t know me, this is how I always talk, I always joke around

“No you can’t touch my butt, I don’t do that.”

“ But you have the 5th best ass I know, so it is only fair.” I say, because it is true B is number 5 in the top 5.

“I don’t do that without marriage,” he says sarcastically.

“Well marry me then.” I laugh

“No” he says monotone.

“Well why not”?

“Your brother would kill me.”

B is another one of those guy friends that is like a big brother to me. He is, however, in a band that I KNOW will make it and Saturday he was playing the Viper Room in LA. B is so talented it is almost crazy. In fact, (shameless promotion) you can check out their website at and see for yourself.

“So…well….can I touch it anyway.”?

“Whatever, it is not like I can stop you.” he shrugs it off.

Saturday: Location: Viper Room

“Hey Brother, where is Rachel you guys lose her already”? I overhear B asking my brother.

I come to his side and reach out to give him a hug. He towers over me by more than a foot so my hands are in perfect grabbing position for his….

“Hey! There you are, you found my ass”

My brother looked on perplexed.

“Hey Brother, did you know that your sister gave me the honorable award for 5th best ass out of the top five asses of guys she knows”?

My brother just shakes his head.

The show, as always was amazing. B comes alive on stage like a true rock star. It is almost as if he becomes a different person on stage, he grabs the entire audience and doesn't let them go until it is all over. After the show we continued the night at Red Rocks where I made a new friend simply for the fact that the new friend was 6’8 inches tall…so we felt we must take a picture together. Me and Brother sent insults through text messaging to each other throughout the night. Can you feel the love? I told a guy who said, “Hey you are a Spinner, that’s hot,” to me, to fuck off as I now know what “Spinner” is.

We stopped drinking and bickering for a few minutes to take some snapshots...

If you need further proof of how different I am than my brother...this pretty much sums it up:

me and brother

If you wanna see how cute his wife is, this pretty much sums that one up:

and here is me and The B...with the beard he just grew..grrrr.

The night ended and the busy few days ahead were just starting. (more on those days later)

We said our so longs, I gave B a hug and then reached down and, there on the street, right on Sunset, I planted one on his butt.

So, yes I have a mild obsession with people’s butts. In fact, if I were to take any of my friends and have them line up far away with their backs to me I could identify who they were simply from their rear end. It has become the running joke with many of my guy and girlfriends that they must prepare to be pinched. So now some of my girlfriends have resorted to getting back to me by grabbing my butt whenever they can.

Hey you gotta do what you gotta for some entertainment….

So anyone wanna show me their backside? ;)
Just Let Me Take a Nap First

I had a weekend. I had non stop days. Concert, Wedding, Baseball Game. Another Concert. No phone or internet access for a couple of days (everyone needs to try that one). Beauty. Fun. Four hours of sleep. Did I say fun? Radiohead. Party.

Will Update

Just got home to 20 voicemails and 200 emails.

Just need a nap first.

Monday, June 26, 2006

"True Friends Understand Your Past, Believe in Your Future and Accept You Just as You Are"...

it does not matter if they are male or female

It was Harry who said men and women could never be friends.

“Men can never be friends with a women they find attractive cause the sex stuff always gets in the way,” he said

“What about friends with a women he finds unattractive”? Sally asked.

“Nah pretty much wanna nail them too.”

I have a lot of male friends. And not once did I ever think the “sex stuff” ever got in the way. However having dinner with my best friend the other night I had some light shed on the subject that I was not expecting.

“Hey, what do you think about our friendship? Do you think people get the wrong idea”? I asked.

We always have discussions like this. Best Friend is a guy I can say anything to, be anything, he has seen me naked and it was not sexual, he has held my hair back when I was throwing up, he goes on vacations with me and we have never once kissed. If something happens to me he is there in a heartbeat whether I ask him or not. The farthest we have gone is a groping and even that was non sexual he just is good at giving butt massages. We have an amazing mental chemistry and yet I am not attracted to him physically or sexually. I think it would be hard for me to be just friends with a guy I was physically or sexually attracted to actually.

“Well no,” he replied, “people know us by now, they know how we are.”

We give each other dating advice. I comment honestly about girls he dates and he does the same even if it pisses me off. I have never and he has never been jealous. You could say he is one of the best friendships I have ever had.

I have many male friends like this.

“Do you think what Harry said to Sally was true”?

“Well no because if you were not pretty I probably would not have been friends with you to begin with,” he says honestly.

Huh? What? I thought.

“Huh? What? That’s crass”!

“Think about it Rachel, when a man and a women first meet the guy usually won’t give her time if he is not attracted. Attraction starts it but if both parties know a relationship would never work they move to friends. When I first met you the first words that came out of your mouth was asking me how to talk dirty in my language. Hey, I AM a guy you know.”

“But you would never sleep with me and I would never sleep with you.” I shot back.

“No but we had many chances to screw throughout the years."

"I would never!!"

" I have not pulled my charm out on you I could have gotten you to do it. I could get you and then you would never want to leave. We just were smarter than that. We would have started something and then I would have killed you and then we could not be friends anymore. You are way too American and stubborn for the likes of me babe. The flirting is good though.”

Well that was all news to me!

“Hey you were the one missing out, you have no idea what I am capable of.”

“You arrogant, crass, butthead”

“That’s why you love me” he smiled back.

I have a few guy friends who would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. Are any of them attracted to me? Well some are honest when they say they are. Some I know are not. But all are friends. And the line is never crossed.

So can men and women be friends with the sex stuff never getting in the way? Maybe it just takes time? Because I know my male friendships are never like that (well most not all). But is that a fools comment? Even one other male friend of mine stated that because he was male he knew every male friend of mine wanted me at one time or another. I have to debunk that statement because a couple of my male friends would disagree 100%.

The jury is still out, but I know I would not change any of my friendships for the world. It is like I get 10 big brothers instead of one.

“I love you Best Friend” I hug him, and it feels like I am hugging my security blanket.

“Love you too Rach.”

“How much”? I tease

And I get the same answer that I have gotten for the past five years…

“More than you think.”

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Truth About Bravery Is...We Get It AFTER We Face Our Fears

The year was 2002 and I was a naïve 20 year old traveling through Europe with a girlfriend. I have a list of all the places I want to see and this trip covered four countries. We were traveling around Italy, France, Spain and Switzerland. I felt so independent, so adult, and so alive.

I remember seeing the Coliseum for the first time almost dropping my gelato as it literally took my breath away. I remember seeing the David and the Vatican…being taken back to a time where new thoughts and new insights were welcomed.

Barcelona was exhilarating. Parks where Gaudi designed things and those things reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. (He had to be on drugs). Parties and nightclubs. Tapa tasting and locals.

Of course…shopping.

Most of my backpacking trip was some of the best memories I have ever created in my lifetime.

And then…the bad thing happened.

My girlfriend and I were back in Bordeaux (she lived there) sitting in her apartment planning the next day’s activities.

“Hey I am going to go down to the payphone I have got to call O,” I said as I got up.

“Rach, screw it that guy makes you call all the time and you want to break up with him anyway.”

“He will worry” I say as I head out the door, “I won’t be long”

I had to make my call at midnight because of the time difference.

The payphone was only two blocks away and knowing the neighborhood a bit I felt fine in going alone.

Hey I said I was naïve…carrying on…

As I finished up my phone call to my boyfriend at the time I shivered a bit as the night air chilled my skin. I pulled my thin jacket tighter and began my walk back to the apartment. The streets and alleys were empty as it was early in the week and we were not near any bars.

A block later I noticed the footsteps and the shadow that darkened the area in front of me from the streetlights. Was I being followed? I quickened my step and as I did so I heard a slurred voice ring in my ears

“Hey pretty American girl, you lost”?

I glanced behind me. A tall man, probably over 200 pounds loomed behind me. He smelled of alcohol and cigarettes and sourness.

“Non merci” I said trying to quicken my step enough but not so much as he might start running.

Too late.

He caught up to me

I searched in my pocket for the apartment key but European keys are tough buggers. I was 5 feet from the door when he grabbed me and turned me around to face him. He slurred some words I did not understand and grabbed onto my shoulders. His grip was hard and strong.

What was I feeling? Was this fear? Was it anger?

At this moment I still did not think anything bad would happen. I said I was naïve. This stuff did not happen to me. It never did. I was from Orange County, the land where doors are kept unlocked..this just didn’t happen and my brain did not know how to process it.

As he pushed me against the cold hard stone of the wall, so close to the door that promised my safety, he slurred something in French I could not fully understand. Something about having a good time was all I could make out.

Then the fear came.

Was I to be one of THOSE girls?

I broke out into a sweat despite the cold as his drunken fingers tried to open up my jacket.
Quick Rachel think of something, I thought to myself. What to do??!?! What to do?!?! He had at least 100 pounds on me and had me pinned to the wall. There was no escape.

I felt stupid. I felt doomed. I tried wiggling out of his grip but nothing worked. So I did what my impulse told me to do.

I took me knee and brought it up to his family jewels, which were probably freaking tiny if he thought he would get lucky with me. He doubled over in pain as I ran to the door and impulsively began pressing every single doorbell to the building. It had to wake someone up. Someone had to be up already. My friend would call the police and all would be ok.

As I continued to pound my hands on the doorbells he regrouped and grabbed me once more. Then I was seeing red. As his fist hit my face all I could see were red spots and black night. I fell to the ground and he reached down to take another swing. The taste of blood took over and the view around me got blurry.

Suddenly the door opened and a shocked young man, seeing me on the ground and a drunken man standing above me, took over from his instincts and lunged at him. He was tall and strong and, as I would find out later, home on vacation from the Army. As he pinned this man to the ground he looked at me and yelled, “Get inside now”!

I ran inside and by that time my girlfriend, the Army boy’s father, as well as a few other tenants who had heard my pounding had gathered in the lobby. The young man’s father took me in his arms and lead me to a chair.

I was safe at last.

The army boy pinned down my assailant until the police arrived and as my girlfriend hugged me tight the father put some ice on my face. I could do nothing but thank that family for I don’t know what would have happened if he had not been there. After the police came and I gave my report I just stood there and hugged that young man. And, to this day I never even got his name

I was shaking and crying. My face felt numb and all I could think about was what could have happened.

It was not until later that the feelings set in. I felt weak. I felt vulnerable. I felt stupid and naïve. I felt like a failure. I felt I had let that happen to me and was a fool for it. A couple of days later, on my plane ride home I vowed to myself to never let that happen to me again. And, for a long time after that I never went out alone. I always made sure I was out with a group or a guy, even if I was just going out for a short while. But as many things, that could never last…

Two years later I was stopping at a gas station on my way home from a night out in LA. As I was filling up on gas I heard my passenger door open and before I could blink my eyes and man just slipped into my car.

“Hey sugar” he smiled as if it was just this normal thing to do.

For a moment that fear, those flashbacks, all those feelings and the pain of the punch came flooding back. For a moment I felt vulnerable, wished a big strong Army man would come save me again. I felt weak and stupid and WEAK.

And then a little voice in my head whispered to me….never again.

Never again.

Never again.

Before I could even think I bolted my hand out and did my best death grip on the assholes nuts. I grabbed them hard and then TWISTED them around. With all the strength I could muster at that angle I dug my nails into his groin and twisted them until they would not twist anymore. He screamed like a girl but I did not let go. I clenched my teeth and dug in even further.

“ Would you kindly get the FUCK out of my car?” I yelled.

He grabbed the door handle as fast as he could as rolled out of the car staggering away with his hands on the front of his pants, almost crying.

I sat there panting as a guy who had been filling up his car ran toward my car.

“Hey are you ok?” he asked, “I just saw what happened”

Still breathing heavy I caught my breath and replied, “Yeah I am ok Mister thanks. I took care of it on my own.”

I took care of it on my own!

I locked all of my doors and drove off into the night. A content smile across my face I said to myself, “Never again… Damn right! Never ever again”!

I wasn’t that vulnerable naïve girl anymore. I did not need an Army man to swoop down and save me.

It was then I learned what strength really was. Strength is facing your fear head on and stomping it into a grave.

We are scared to fight back because we fear failing if we do. In life, we may get beat up physically and we may get beat up mentally. Someone may break our nose and someone may break our hearts. We can always fall pray to what we are afraid of. Trotting through life always afraid we will get hurt again; putting us in a protective bubble.

But if we learn the lessons and go forth into life fighting, even if we are matter what the outcome, no matter if we win or lose….we win in the end. We release the fear.

So what are you afraid of??

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Giving Up on Being Perfect

“Rachel you are on a quest for perfection.”

Immediately I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to strike back with something witty that would knock him back on his ass. I was not! I knew I wasn’t perfect. I knew I had faults just like the rest of us! What kind of dummy would I be if I were striving to be perfect?!?!

Instead I just remained silent…. And let the air become icy in the room.

“Listen to me for a sec ok Rach. Everything you are doing and trying to be you are doing and trying to be in order to be perfect. Your life is based on, ‘when this happens then I will be good enough’ see”?

“But I know I will never be perfect” I am starting to get pissed off here. Who does he think he is?!

“That doesn’t mean you are not striving to get there. Think about it. How many times has your inner dialogue been, ‘when I graduate I will be good enough, when I get the grasp of Quickin then I will be good enough, when I make 100,000 grand a year then I will be good enough, when I blank blank blank blank’ Good enough for what? You are good enough already” He is looking at me intently now.

“Ok I am listening”…. fucktard

“You think when you are perfect you will be free not just from criticism from others but also criticism from yourself.”

“I like myself a lot though. I love many things about me..sometimes too much"

“But deep down you feel that if you were just as smart as your brother then you would be perfect.”

“Fuck my brother. He can kiss my ass.” Damnit he got me there. Defensiveness means its true.

“Why does he have the power to hurt you”?

Tears are welling up in my eyes, fuck fuck fuckidy fuck fuck.

“All he does is try to shoot me down! Whenever I see him he never says anything about the good I do or what accomplishments I have made. All he does is tell me to fucking graduate and get a real corporate type job and stop freeloading and he tells me I am too cocky and arrogant! I mean ME!!! Ok I admit I am a little cocky but at least I am cocky enough to try to bring out other peoples cockiness. He never even compliments my writing he just says ‘your blog is self absorbed and all you talk about is sex’ and of course I talk about sex I have the sexual drive of a Bonobo!!..I mean hellloo... and maybe if I just bring him down it will be better because lets face it I am way better with people than he is and I obviously got the cute gene and the dude can’t even communicate in normal English. It is like techie alien words! He just thinks I am this total fuck up; that I am the black sheep in the family because I did not do it his way.”

“Wow you really look up to him don’t you? I mean his opinion matters to you a lot. You admire him.”

I really want to kick people in the nuts, who have a better insight into me than I do, and then walk away while they squirm on the ground in pain.

And then the tears just start rolling.

Cause he was right. I am on a quest for perfection. Subconsciously I feel that if every single aspect of me were perfect, then no one could criticize. And why is it my brother that matters a ton you ask? Well growing up he was the first person that ever got close enough to hurt me. My first friend. And I love him cause he is my brother. He makes me laugh and he is smart like Einstein. I mean off the charts smart. He introduces me to rock stars and takes me to concerts. He is protective of me when something bad happens. He lets me hang out and be best buds with his wife too. So course it matters. I love the butthead. Think of it this way, if a stranger tells you that you are a class A idiot does it bother you? Of course not, cause they are strangers. But if someone you love dearly puts you down, it stings.

“So what do I do”?

“Rachel you are perfect as you are. There is nothing you have to do because perfection doesn’t exist.” He looks at me square in the eye trying to get his point across.

Perfection doesn’t exist

Perfection doesn’t exist

Perfection doesn’t exist

“Someone will always be around to try to knock you down. You are pretty lucky, your parents never did they only raised you up. Even when you get that devil streak in you they always raised you up. But someone will always try to knock you down and usually it is because you have something they feel they don’t have. You see EVERYONE is on a quest for perfection. EVERYONE has a sore spot of something. Even me. You are good with people, just see it as they are trying to make up for what they feel they lack. Turn it around, everything you make fun of Brother about relates to how smart he is. You make fun of him for being a nerd.”

Did I ever tell you guys how much I hate when someone else is right? I really do. I am really bad that way. Seriously.

“So how do I fix it”?

“By giving up trying to fix it. Giving up the quest for perfection and just being who you are. Those that love you love you because you are you Rachel, and look around you have a lot of fans. You have a lot of love. It is not because you are neat and tidy and great with money,” He winked, “And, it is NOT because you are a saint.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to regain my composure.

“I need to be smarter though. I need to be as smart as Brother.” Did that just come out as stupid as it sounded?

“No Rachie, you need to just see how smart, in your own way, you already are. You are always learning, changing, growing, but you will never be perfect”

I remained silent. My hands folded across my chest and my lip began to pout as it always does when I don’t get what I want.

“Give up Rach. Give up the idea that you have to be the smartest, most talented, totally together, responsible girl…give it up and then you will just be free to have your star shine. It is complete freedom to just be who you are. When that happens Rach, that part of you that illuminates a room is there. The part that I love is there. Give up the past. Give it all up. You are perfectly imperfect”

Silence. What am I even supposed to say to that? I can’t even call him a fucktard.


He takes out a piece of paper and scribbles on it.

I take it from him and read it. It says one word, “Perfection.”

“Now go outside and burn it”

So I did. It felt damn good.

And at that moment I got it. It mattered not what anyone thought. I am just me. And, something about me is magnificent. Something about everyone reading this is magnificent. Everyone has something. Someone out there will always be prettier, or smarter or more talented. Somebody will always have something we want that we think we need to be better. Not. Fucking. True. And, if anyone knocks you down just know it is because they don’t know what makes their star shine. If you knock anyone down, take a look in the mirror it is what you feel you lack or are insecure about.

I got it now.

I am free

So are all of you… if you give up the quest to be perfect.

Here endith the lesson


Friday, June 16, 2006

The Biggest Secret to Feeling Sexy

Many girls I know and friends I have always wonder what the secret is to being sexy. I know girls of all sizes, all shapes, all looks, and all that and while many think and feel sexy many do not. I know this feeling. I had this feeling as a teenager. Women need to know that sexy has nothing to do with anything except the knowing and feeling that one is, in fact, sexy.

So how does one achieve this?

Well, the normal secret is you gotta fall in love with yourself. You have to look at your naked body in the mirror and find what you love about it. And then look at your naked body again and start loving all the things you don’t like about it. There is something inherently sexy about all woman and what baffles me is how so many women don’t see how freaking sexy they are! So what to do about it? Fall in love with the way you move, the way you feel and the way you look. No matter what!!

And what is the other BIG secret to being sexy?

As Karl Kraus said, “A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful”

So my other secret to being and feeling sexy….go play in the mud, get dirty, get ugly and have some fun.

Hahaha, and here you thought this was going to be another deep post.

All of these pictures were from the Marine Corps Mud Run last weekend….and hows dat for sexy!! Haha

I did the marine corps Mud Run last Sunday which is a 10K (6.2 mile) race full of obstacles,

muddy trenches,

lakes to swim through, sandy steep uphill battles, and hot marines heckling you the entire time.

I cannot begin to tell you how freaking fun this race is. If you have the stamina to do it…GO DO IT!!!

I think the best part of the race was when I came to the last wall. They had a few marines in the trenches to help the ladies with a boost if need be and as I came up to this cutie marine he said, "Hey wanna have some fun"?

"Well sure what did ya have in mind"? I replied.

After saying to his other marine friend, "hey...this girl is tiny we can have some fun with this." He tells me to put my foot in his hands and my hands on his shoulder.

"Ya ready"?

ehhh what did I get myself into?

Suddenly I was FLYING over the wall. FLYING!! So how did I get so much muddier than my teammates? Because I FLEW over that wall and completly submerged myself with the three feet of mud water on the other side.

It was fantabulous!

note to self: never open your mouth to smile while swimming in mud

So there ya have secret to feeling sexy

Get ugly in the mud


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I Wanna Rock n Roll All Night...and Party Every Day

When we experience something freaking awesome, we react with passion. Our insides get hot and tingly. We are filled with joy and appreciation. Life, to put it simply, rocks when something awesome happens.

At a concert, we jump up and down (sometimes not even to the beat) and scream and yell. WOO HOOO!!! We smile and laugh. We sing along to the words. We tell the rock stars we love them! “I love you”!!!!!!!!! We lose our voices we love so much. We may even shed a few tears of joy.

When we are having sex we are totally into it. We yell out. We call out. We talk dirty. Afterwards we jump up and down…YES!!!!!! We kiss our beloved and give thanks that he/she just gave us a rockin’ good time. We rocked so much that the bed sheets are across the room. The neighbors are yelling at us to shut up and there might be ringing in your ears. WOOO HOOOO!!!!

When we are at a baseball game…we jump out of our seats to cheer strangers on!! We yell at umpires. We throw beer at the Yankee fan 10 rows below us. (oh please like you have not done that) We sing a song about peanuts and cracker jacks. We dress like dorks and laugh about it. We wave flags and cheer!! WOOO HOOOO!!! We rock the game!

Ok so why not do that all the time? Hmmmmm???

When we are out with friends we laugh and giggle. We smile and get giddy. We talk and talk and talk and talk and talk…(ok that might be a girl thing) We rock!!!

What would your life look like if you created that much joy everywhere? What if you made it your goal to rock every day?

When you are at work and you just completed a project – Jump out of your chair! Scream WOO HOOOO. Say, “I rock”!!!!! YES!!!!! “I would like to thank myself, because without me this might have never been possible” Throw some silly string while you are at it. Make yourself a banner and put it near your desk.

Next time you are at the grocery store stocking up on your goods, dance down the aisle way. Take that cart and do some zig zags! Leave the cart for a minute and do a twirl! You found a bargain? Are those Lean Cuisines a dollar off? Rock on! Put your fist in the air (oh you know that fist-in-the-air-joy-jab) and scream out, “A dollar saved! AWESOME!” Marvel in awe at that beautiful perfect apple. If you want, juggle them.

The guy at a restaurant gives you great service? - Jump up and give him or her a big hug. We scream out and cheer on strangers why not cheer for someone who actually gives you some food? “Awesome waiter”!!!! Pretend the table is a stage and throw that tip down with abandon. :"I love you and the way you hold that menu waiter"!

Stuck in Traffic? –Throw on some music – start dancing (yes this is possible) and give smiles to all the souls in the cars next to you. Blow them a kiss. Roll down your window and tell them to have a blast. Sing at the top of your lungs!!!

Try walking into your boss’s office and paying them a compliment…see what happens. In fact, pay 10 people a compliment today…treat them like rock stars. Better yet, make at least 5 of those compliments to people you dislike, are not friends with, fear, intimidated by or don’t converse with on a daily basis.

Try this for a day…

If you like it….try it for a few days…weeks…months….years…

Maybe then you might create rock concert (or whatever your “thing” might be) joy all day.

Now show me that sexy smile (yes that one) and get to it....

Monday, June 12, 2006

Quick Note to the Mom and the Dad

Happy 29th!!!!

Mom thank you for finally accepting Dad's date even though you thought he was a total player...

Dad thank you for getting your head out of your ass 29 years ago when you decided that, no, in fact, you could not live without the Mom so you had to beg her back.

Because then you would not have given birth to this wonderful, beautiful, daughter who you lovingly call the devil spawn.

Oh and that smart guy who is your would not have had him either...yeah whatever.

Happy Anniversary!! And may you have 29 more years :)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

I, whoaaaaaa, I'm STILL ALIVE!!!!! Mischief managed!

Wowzers I came home to some nice comments

Yup that’s right I am back…and oh boy my life did change.

Not to worry in a good way. In a very very good way. Tee Hee

Well I am not going to give a play by play of my trip or the events of last week. I was thinking, “Well how can I explain what happened”?

I had the greatest time ever, I learned a lot, a lot happened. But if I were to write it all out I would be getting those “you know my attention span” comments again.

So maybe I will just give highlights and what I learned will have to be applied on a later date.

I got a call right before my trek up there. Ok that is such a lie I got about 20 calls. All from worried people (not mad I know it was done out of love duhhh) but one call stood out.

“Rachel you are the weirdest craziest person I know.”

No be safe, no call me when you get there, just a statement that because I decided to trek up there all by myself I was weird and crazy. However, from the guy who said that I expected nothing less LOL.

My drive up was amazing and so freeing. My trip itself was such a blast. I hope I don’t piss off certain readers here but damn they make the men gorgeous up north. I mean I met a guy from East Bay – baseball player – HOT. I met a guy from Elk Grove (no not kidding) who was just the embodiment of “Rachel’s type.” Both inside and outside. We started the trip with the Union Street Festival which, in reality, spills out to neighboring streets and towards the end everyone ends up having roof top and backyard bbqs anyway. By the time these pictures were taken we had been drinking out in the sun all day, bbq’ing and drinking all night with all our friends. We are sunburned, tipsy, lacked proper clothing and makeup, and yes that smile on my face is a drunk smile so bite me.

"whoa where is she lookin? she has an imaginary friend!"

That was how the week started…and it just got more fun from there.

Other highlights?

Sitting on the roof of the apartment complex, watching the gorgeous sunset over the marina, just laughing and smiling like nothing else in the world mattered but that one moment.

Taking a boat ride through the bay and to Alcatraz. OK I am going to get a boat one day. I love boats. The day was so beautiful and serene I could have hung out on that boat all day.

Look they are kissing!

Seeing the house I lived in from the time I was born until I was four. Bet ya all did not know I was born up north huh? I was born in Livermore and lived in Walnut Creek, which is about 30 minutes from the city. When I saw the house and our backyard (which was the actual creek) so many memories came flooding back including me running around in just my panties because I was so proud to be potty trained. They were pink with ruffles on the butt.

Thanks to C, the “all access pass” model. We got to watch the Giants game (not a Giants fan but any baseball fan needs a chance to watch the Bonds in action) from about 7 rows behind home plate. We were so loud and obnoxious that we got “shushed” by a bunch of big and loud fans behind us. And, yes..Bonds hit a homer just for me.

Driving to the Jelly Belly factory and to Sacramento just because…..

Making all the new friends and meeting all the new people I met. Most important was being with my best friend again. And I love all the people we met as well. Hot Stanford Graduates, one armed gay man with hair shinier than mine, girls so nice you become insta-friends…you name it I met it.

Picking up a hitchhiker near the state penitentiary who was just trying to get away for a while. We ended up having a great philosophical conversation about life and how it is supposed to be lived.

Heart attack yet?

A slew of other stuff happened and some I can’t share to the public and some “lessons” I will share. But right now I am tired and muddy (that is a whole other post) and am going to go watch Perfect Square and relax.

But just so you all know...."Mischief Managed" :)

P.S - almost had ya with the hitchhiker story huh? Tee Hee

Friday, June 02, 2006

Homework and Thoughts to Ponder While I am Gone

Allrighty I am off to San Francisco and various spots around the bay area. I might even have to stop by my home-town except its not like I even remember my old address.

Before I go I would like to leave you all with these thoughts to ponder for the week

Sexy Scissors - learn it live it

The Goddess Rules – Read it (if you are a girl)

Gomez – How We Operate – listen to it

When my sister is stressed – she goes so crazy its like all access comedy

When you are all out of thoughts – your mind goes blank and you reach Nirvana

If a guy brags about his "number" (or tells you it without you asking) or you notice all his friends know – no thank you next go away

I have really ugly feet. Years of dancing and now running has just turned them into ugly damn things

Now that I am paying for shit on my own I have yet to turn on the AC. But also the AC knob is high on the wall and I have yet to figure out how to reach it

There is a Lean Cuisine that is just fettuccine Alfredo and another that is Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken. The one with chicken is only 10 calories more than the one without. (Sister gave me this info) and we would both like to know then why do they make both? Wouldn’t you just want the one with protein?

Instant messaging and text messaging is the only thing cutting down on my cell phone minutes. Love the sidekick!

Skippy now makes EXTRA chunky peanut butter – there is a God

You have one obligation in life….and that is to rock (my man Greg)

And that kills me
And I hope slowly (best thing my brother has ever said)

5 phone calls today said the following: “Please call me when you get there I worry about you” - I am 24!!!!!! I can drive!!!!

Does anyone remember the meatballs and spaghetti song from childhood? I can’t remember the words. It started with on top of old smokey.

How about the Baby Beluga song? Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea…that’s all I remember

Lord Byron – a-freaking-mazing (a poet )

Noted freebie – If you are crying to a girlfriend on the phone while driving through a drive through the guy gives you your stuff for free.

I just completely changed my career agenda. I changed my major. I am beginning to think maybe I was not too stupid for school before but rather just was not in the right place,. And yet I am still freakeddddddd out. Will I ever freaking graduate? When I do I kid you not my family is going to be so happy and in shock I can ask for a pony and they would get it.

However, on the above note, I still don’t think any less of me ; )

I ate so much tonight I have a food baby

You know if you reread children’s books as an adult you get more out of them. Everyone, go reread The Secret garden….amazing

Me and R are seeing Rick Springfield tonight before my trek up the coast– don’t laugh

Saturday will still change my life forever

My brother is so uncool he is cool again

Why do some men make you turn into a babbling nervous looney around them?

Why do they make dressing room lighting make everyone look bad? I mean don’t you think they would make it soft lighting so you look good in everything therefore spend more money?

On that note you know you can’t trust a sales girl when she says “Oh your legs look long in that” WHAT? I am pushing five feet!

My Guardian Angel gave me permission to misbehave. So that is what I am off to do.

I will give all the details (except the ones I don’t want to give) upon my return

Have a great weekend all of you and for those about to rock..I salute you

And please post answers and comments to any and all of these..I want some answers when I get back damnit!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Random Musings and a peek into my purse for GRINS

So being that my soreness was leaving my body and once again I could feel my ass I decided to take said ass to the mall to look for a dress. I tried on so many damn dresses and of course the one dress that looked hot on me…the ONE dress I wanted..was the most expensive dress I tried on!! Damnit I want that dress!

So I won’t be posting for a bit I am off to go to San Fran, attend a festival (all the paid for drinks we want!), see a game (free tickets right behind home plate!), go to Napa, and see some friends….I will guarantee all of you I will have a ton of fun and will misbehave the entire time

I had a dream about Mr. Beach Boy last night and now feel pretty lame for not giving him my number. OK this is for the girls - do you know some guys who just have a body that gets you wide eyed by looking at it? They have a face that is so precious and a smile that kills you. Their confidence is such a turn on and their personality and sincerity make it all the better. You all know that guy...I know a few down here. BUT - it is THIS guy who I have only met once that haunts my dreams and fills my thoughts. I got it bad people - I got it worse than ever.

However, before I go I will leave you with some random musings from yours truly:

Something is happening to me Saturday that will change my life...but it is a secret :)

Yes I take a stuffed animal with me when I travel – it’s a carebear -deal with it

I get to go to the Toronto Film Festival and wear like a real red carpet GOWN. A GOWN!!!! With a stylist!!!!!

I start my personnel training and pilates training soon – ok so excited about that. I will be certified!!

I am not bitchy enough….but I am getting better

The best thing to say to a guy is stare at him in the eye and say "I want you"

A mirrored closet right next to your bed is deadly

I am spoiled rotten

I am still on a total high from the half-marathon, I want to go run one again. There are only a few feelings in this world that match up…and funny enough the word “marathon” is used for that too

I seriously need a day planner – this is getting ridiculous. I am double booking.

The best panties ever are Hanky Panky

If DUSTIN does not smile soon I am going to kick all 170 pounds of his cute ass into next week.

Too little too late....three strikes your out. I LOVE cliches

I learned the most important lesson there is to learn in life - what I am worth, peoples actions speak louder than words, I can't spell worth a damn, I can always grow and learn something, what I want has changed from what I used to want, if we dont learn from the past it will repeat itself, people will love you as much as you love yourself, if you dont love yourself you will attract people who dont love themselves, life has some amazing things happen if one is brave enough to jump, I don't have to be nice all the time, honesty is better, I can always improve, sociopaths are the only people who can never admit they are or were wrong, dishonest people have an alterior motive, most people dont know they are one of those people, we are all that person at one time or another, some kama sutra positions are damn near impossible, it doesnt matter what anyone thinks of you if you have with integrity, you can get everything you want if you are willing, settling is another word for fear, change is for the strong, love is everywhere, its better to accept who you are than pretend to be something you are not, no one is 100% noble and those that pretend to be are pretending to satisfy their ego, age does not equal maturity, people tell you everything you need to know without telling you direct, dogs are the best thing, tilex is awesome, my brother is always right about people as is my grandfather, everybody in this world is better and smarter than they think they are, life is pretty simple if you get your ego out of the way, I have no time for anything other than a second chance, third chances don't exist, if you dont love your own company for an extended period of time then you dont love yourself, loniless does not exist, admitting wrong doing does not make one weak it makes them strong, running is amazing, dancing naked in your living room is fun, never burn a bridge unless it is an unstable one, you can do anything you put your mind to unless you are scared of what you want to do, not doing what you want is another way of saying you have a fear of failure, a good book and a good beach can change your life, there is not a big difference between 800 thread count and 1000 except the price, its good to get dirty once in a while, there is nothing wrong with a woman acting like a woman, let no one make you feel bad for being who you are, always be yourself, and my last one....never stop believing in the beauty of your dreams


My sister is amazing.

Seriously Dustin...SMILE!!!!!

Everything is hidden under the one is what they seem to be.

Shout out to Lyndsey because of her graduation. Congrats babe! I can't help but feel envy, I am only human. But I will graduate someday. If only I didn't feel like I were too stupid to. (hello Rachel's weak spot)

Mr. Beach Boy needs to leave my head. Or should I just go back to the beach and wait there?

I promise to drive safe and I won't pick up any hitchhikers. My first road trip without anyone there to overprotect me...damn it feels good.

I will give you all some fun stories when I return..and plenty of pictures :)

And big ole SHOUT OUT to GRINS because she tagged me today (THANKSSSSSS a BUNCHHHH Grins) Go over to and bug her just because for me

Allright here it goes Grins, just for you

5 Items in my Fridge

1. protein shakes
2. water bottles
3. salmon
4. strawberries
5. diet coke

5 Items in my Closet

1. about 50 pairs of jeans
2. a bunch of shoes
3. a bunch of handbags
4. a memory box
5. some really hot tops

5 Items in my Car

1. cell phone charger
2. water bottle
3. flip flops
4. beach blanket
5. sunglasses

5 Items in my purse

1. lip gloss
2. ipod
3. small notebook
4. wallet
5. breath strips

5 People who are tagged

1. Mr. Black Rim Glasses
2. Old Lady of the Hills
3. Shpprgrl
4. Dustin I am tagging you too cause I want to kno what is in your purse
5. Mazing Amy