"True Friends Understand Your Past, Believe in Your Future and Accept You Just as You Are"...
it does not matter if they are male or female
It was Harry who said men and women could never be friends.
“Men can never be friends with a women they find attractive cause the sex stuff always gets in the way,” he said
“What about friends with a women he finds unattractive”? Sally asked.
“Nah pretty much wanna nail them too.”
I have a lot of male friends. And not once did I ever think the “sex stuff” ever got in the way. However having dinner with my best friend the other night I had some light shed on the subject that I was not expecting.
“Hey, what do you think about our friendship? Do you think people get the wrong idea”? I asked.
We always have discussions like this. Best Friend is a guy I can say anything to, be anything, he has seen me naked and it was not sexual, he has held my hair back when I was throwing up, he goes on vacations with me and we have never once kissed. If something happens to me he is there in a heartbeat whether I ask him or not. The farthest we have gone is a groping and even that was non sexual he just is good at giving butt massages. We have an amazing mental chemistry and yet I am not attracted to him physically or sexually. I think it would be hard for me to be just friends with a guy I was physically or sexually attracted to actually.
“Well no,” he replied, “people know us by now, they know how we are.”
We give each other dating advice. I comment honestly about girls he dates and he does the same even if it pisses me off. I have never and he has never been jealous. You could say he is one of the best friendships I have ever had.
I have many male friends like this.
“Do you think what Harry said to Sally was true”?
“Well no because if you were not pretty I probably would not have been friends with you to begin with,” he says honestly.
Huh? What? I thought.
“Huh? What? That’s crass”!
“Think about it Rachel, when a man and a women first meet the guy usually won’t give her time if he is not attracted. Attraction starts it but if both parties know a relationship would never work they move to friends. When I first met you the first words that came out of your mouth was asking me how to talk dirty in my language. Hey, I AM a guy you know.”
“But you would never sleep with me and I would never sleep with you.” I shot back.
“No but we had many chances to screw throughout the years."
"I would never!!"
" I have not pulled my charm out on you I could have gotten you to do it. I could get you and then you would never want to leave. We just were smarter than that. We would have started something and then I would have killed you and then we could not be friends anymore. You are way too American and stubborn for the likes of me babe. The flirting is good though.”
Well that was all news to me!
“Hey you were the one missing out, you have no idea what I am capable of.”
“You arrogant, crass, butthead”
“That’s why you love me” he smiled back.
I have a few guy friends who would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. Are any of them attracted to me? Well some are honest when they say they are. Some I know are not. But all are friends. And the line is never crossed.
So can men and women be friends with the sex stuff never getting in the way? Maybe it just takes time? Because I know my male friendships are never like that (well most not all). But is that a fools comment? Even one other male friend of mine stated that because he was male he knew every male friend of mine wanted me at one time or another. I have to debunk that statement because a couple of my male friends would disagree 100%.
The jury is still out, but I know I would not change any of my friendships for the world. It is like I get 10 big brothers instead of one.
“I love you Best Friend” I hug him, and it feels like I am hugging my security blanket.
“Love you too Rach.”
“How much”? I tease
And I get the same answer that I have gotten for the past five years…
“More than you think.”