Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Opinions...Everyone Has Got Them

“Rachel you are too much of a dreamer, put yourself in reality.”

“Rachel just focus and graduate and then worry about your career.”

“Rachel work on your career while you are in school.”

“Rachel, don’t date him.”

“Rachel, date him I like that one.”

“Rachel you need to stop coming across as overly confident.”

“Rachel be more realistic.”

“Rachel, you are part evil.”

“Rachel you drive me nuts.”

“Rachel don’t worry about it, go with the flow.”

“Rachel, you better start worrying about it.”

“Rachel, you look expensive, it is intimidating.”

“Rachel you are too nice.”

“Rachel you need to stop believing in your dream world and start looking at reality.”

“Rachel – never give up on your dreams.”

“Rachel I love you, and I know you will do what is best for you. Date who you want to date. Follow the career of what makes you happy. You will do great”

“Rachel, you look expensive.”

Now which one do you think I should listen to?

Opinions. Everyone has got ‘em. I got them coming at me in spades.

Except here is something I have learned. For every single person in my life there are that many opinions…and usually more.

Opinions are just what someone believes. What we believe is what comes to pass (consciously and subconsciously). And so here and now I have made the conscious decision to not listen to anybody (unless I want to) and just follow my intuition.

It has never failed me in the past. It sure as hell not gonna fail me now.

What are some things people have told all of you that make you get all mind chattery? Does anyone else have this happen to him or her?

When did it not become ok to trust our gut?

Joseph Campbell (amazing author) said, what I consider to be, three of the most powerful words ever spoken (EVER!!!)….”Follow your bliss.”

“Follow your bliss, and doors will open where there were none before…”

Now that is some advice I think I will take.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Maybe We Are All Somebody's Guardian Angel

As I was walking through the bookstore I brought myself to the oh-so-familiar Concert DVD section. Not that I need any more Concert DVDs, but it is always fun to look. Of course, sometimes I end up buying anyway but that is a whole other story.

So anyway, I was walking around MY section and I notice a man, probably in his 40s standing near the section with a young girl, around 8.

“Daddy, which one are you going to get?” I overhear her say. I take a look and notice the little girl has Downs’s syndrome.

Father is holding two DVDs in his hands, obviously contemplating which to get for his daughter.

Curiosity got the best of me and I scooted over to get a better look. Ahh, he was holding two different Beach Boys DVDs and a smile spread across my face.

“Excuse me, but sir I would probably go with that one if it is her first…more songs less talking.” I say as I give the little girl a wink.

The little girl smiled up at me and said proudly, “Daddy is teaching me about good music.”

“Well he is a smart man. Did you know that the Beach Boys are one of the greatest bands in history”?

“Oh I know that,” she said as she put her hands on her hips.

I bent down to her eye level and gave her a smile, “Well then you are one smart lady.”

This got a giggle out of her.

“Well Daddy says they are his Angels.”

The Father gives a laugh as he replaces the other DVD back on the shelf, going with my recommendation.

“Well that is how I met her mother, so we have a joke about it.”

The little girl, dressed in a simple pink outfit is almost too cute for words.

I had had such a rough day that probably anything remotely sweet was going to be too cute for words. But, seriously, too cute for words. Then again, any young kid learning good music is a soft spot for me.

Angels he said? What of Angels? Do we all have them? Do they guide us?

I reached across the shelf and pulled out another band and hand it to the little girl.

“Well these guys are my Angels. I bet if you ask nicely he might get you this one too.” I say as I stand up straight and get ready to wish them a good day.

“Hey thanks for the recommendations.” The father says politely.

I wished them a good day and walked away.

I was still in earshot when I heard the little girl ask, “Daddy who was that pretty lady, I like her.”

“I don’t know sweet pea. Maybe she was an Angel.”

Now…that was too cute for words.

Help a kid learn good music: Free

Feel a bit better: 15.99 (Hey I told you I usually buy something)

Realize I am somebody’s Angel: Priceless

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Semester Started I took a break from blogging this week so I could settle into a routine.

I promise to be back in a couple of days since I have A LOT To Blog about :)

Until then have a fabulous weekend and please pray for The Angels series against the Yanks.


Monday, August 21, 2006

We Still Have Clubs and Cliques

One of the things I got to attend this weekend was the annual San Diego SurfDog Competition held on Imperial Beach (the southern most beach before Mexico) with a big party afterwards at Coronado.

My Aunts Pet Boutique Store ( shameless promotion I know) was one of the major sponsors so I went to lie out on the beach and catch these talented pups in action.

As I lay there I got to think how funny it is that everyone has such unique ideas of what to be passionate about. Surfers. Music Snobs. Shoppers. It seems everyone picks one or two things and sticks with them, mastering the art of the Pointless Talent.

I can’t surf (I have a couple of times but I am not that great), I can’t snowboard (bad experience) and I sure as hell can’t get any of my dogs to Hang Ten. But there are people everywhere, bonded by these passions and extracurricular activities that make them unique.

How many people do you know that met their significant other at some sort of event for their quirky obsession? – surfers hang with surfers, music snobs flock together….

I first got to thinking about this during another recent San Diego trip where I found myself accidentally immersed in the National Over The Line Tournament. I barely knew this game and yet thousands turned up from around the Nation to celebrate the game and a weekend of debauchery.

And now we have SurfDogs. The ultimate extravagance in Dog obsession.

So what are my quirky obsessive talents or passions that cause me to belong to cliques that rival high school?

If now were high school, and we had a national yearbook…what would it say next to my picture?

Rachel Heather –Member of…

…The Music Snob Club…

…The Dancer Club…

…The Dog lover club…

…New Yorkers Unite….

….Why Shoes Make an Outfit Club…

…Handbag Nation…

…Baseball is Life, the rest if just Details Club…

….Mastering Persuasion Club...

Maybe my dog can’t surf, but I can sure make him look handsome in an outfit.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Life and Death

I am leaving town for the weekend but before that...a long day at work

I am walking around to the different sections of the hospital to drop off the day’s news flashes. I come to a familiar door and tension sets in. The ICU.

My breath quickens as I flash my badge to buzz me in. I don’t like this place. This place smells of death and decay. There are family members in waiting rooms outside looking pale and people inside stuck in isolated rooms.

Many people in the ICU are elderly. Frail and weak, nearing the end of their life and I feel as if that essence rubs off on me whenever I walk through there.

I pass by a women and glance in her room. She looks about 100 years old. Tubes are sticking out of her and she is lying down with her mouth agape because of a breathing tube.

I shudder.

This place smells like death.

It seems this place is a passageway to the other side.

Do these people know they will die?

Even though many people in the ICU live, surviving heart attacks, strokes, etc…many must know that this might be their final destination before they head up to the Pearly gates. I venture to guess that this lady, who looks about 100 years old, knows somewhere inside her that age is catching up to her and she will probably die.

At that moment I hear a “Code Blue” on the intercom and a rush of people run into 100-year-olds room. Her heart stopped beating.

Is it the end?

I rush out of there before I could find out. I don’t like death. I don’t understand it, and my best bet is to stay far away from it.

My next stop is the Women’s Hospital. It is the place where, it seems, every woman in Orange County goes to give birth thanks to the best doctors, best birthing suites and great press. The skylights in there give a bright happy feeling to the place and it smells like baby lotion and flowers. Much better.

I pass by an open suite as I head to the nurses station. I glance inside to see a young mother holding a bundled up tiny baby.

She has this glow on her face. She coos at her baby and her proud husband stands over her snapping five thousand pictures. Family and friends are gathered in the room to celebrate. I see a “It’s a Girl” balloon attached to some flowers.

I smile at that image. New life is always a happy occasion.

It seems that image has just washed away the deathly images I have leftover from the ICU.

Even though this new baby will one day make the transition to old lady...even though I know it all comes full circle...I can't help but smile.

Yes, I think to myself, death is certain…but Life, new Life…is much happier to think about.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

You Can Get Away With Anything When You Are Adorable

For the next two weeks I am babysitting a kitten. This is a big deal being that it is sort of a “test run” to see if I can take care of an animal at my apartment (my animals live with my parents).

This one pound black embodiment of all that is evil and adorable is sitting next to me sleeping.

She looks so cute when she sleeps.

Oh, if only she could sleep for 24 hours.

I walk around my apartment and all of a sudden this evil yet adorable thing attacks my feet. I type on my keypad and she attacks my hands. This apartment is now her plaything.

I want to not like her. I want to yell at her.

She just bit me.

But, then she gives me this “look.” This look, as if to say, “I am so adorable that no matter what I do you will love me,” makes me want to hug her and scream at the same time.

My feet and hands have been attacked. She is now on the ground chasing the air. But, this adorable evil creature has clawed into my heart. Awwwwwww

Now I get why I get away with so much. You sure get away with a lot when you are adorable.

Sunday, I went to lunch and a movie with my “scary movie buddy.” This is not a title I gave him but more of a title that was formed by the fact that he is now the only person in my life that will see a scary movie with me. Everyone else quit that job. So SMB fell into the job because he is brave and does not mind pain.

We went to see The Decent. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes the genre. It is one of the scariest, but well made, scary movies I have seen in a long long time. It, not only gets you with the fright fest, but it gets under your skin psychologically. Darkness, closed spaces, being trapped…and then the flesh eating monsters come out.
Poor Scary Movie Buddy….I actually drew blood this time.

It started with a certain scene (I won't give it away) and then escalated from there. I grabbed his arm in a panic and hid my face from the screen. He yelled out in pain and turned to give me a glare. I gave him a "look" as if to say, "I am so adorable I can get away with anything."

He cautiously let me hold onto him for the rest of the movie. He just made sure he was prepared.

Ya see, me and Kitty....not too different now are we? We can both draw blood and get away with it. Though, I have to admit...she is far cuter than I am when she sleeps.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Sometimes Mothers Know Exactly What to Say

sorry for my vanishing act. I had a busy week. Shopgirl - you are close in your thinking, but not found at the beach.

Saturday, at my grandfather’s birthday my dad interrupted the loud banter to make a toast.

“I would like to make a toast to my lovely wife,” he said, “she just got promoted to Director and it’s a big huge deal and I could not be more proud of her.”

Clinking of the wine followed.

I am very proud of my mother. It is a great accomplishment.

“I would also like to congratulate my son for his new contract at work which is amazing. And to my son and his wife for their very first home purchase.”

I mentally roll things over in my head. No contracts for me. No home ownership. Do I get a toast too? Everyone else in my immediate family did.

So I pipe up jokingly, “And congrats to Rachel for being the little black sheep’!

“That is so like you Rachel,” Brother said, “Always trying to hog the spotlight.”

Where is the sense of humor here, I thought it was funny!

But all joking aside, sometimes I wish I had some major thing like a promotion. I guess being happy is not a big accomplishment anymore.

My mother, who was sitting down in front of me, turns around and gives me a look like she knows exactly what I am thinking.

She leans into me and whispers,

“And I would like to toast my daughter for being the best daughter anyone could ask for.”

And then I thought to myself, “yeah that IS something to toast about.”

I walked away smiling, because I have one hell of a mother.

Even if she was fibbing….just a little.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tell Me What You Know

You Know…

You know when someone is insecure if when you compliment them they call you a bitch.

You know when someone is addicted to baseball when they schedule their work, dates, and sex around a game.

You know when someone is addicted to shopping when they get thank you notes from sales people saying, “Thank you so much for allowing me to get my new plasma.”

You know when someone is obsessed with their dog when you call them and they begin to tell you about their “pooh bear’s” bowel movements,

You know when someone loves you when you piss him or her off and they give you a hug anyway.

You know when someone is comfortable around you when they let out a loud fart and laugh instead of saying “excuse me.”

You know you have been ordering some odd stuff on Amazon when The Art of Fellacio comes up on the “Recommended for you based on what you have bought” page.

You know you are a geek when you collect any sort of dolls, figurines, or overpriced collectables on ebay of your obsession (major bonus points if you have any dolls of said obsession and are male)

You know you are not in Kansas anymore when you see a fat man wearing a diaper and cupid wings.

You know you have a good friend when you can see them after being apart for a long time and it is as if nothing has changed.

You know you have faith when everything can be going wrong and you keep on walking forward anyway.

You know you need a car wash when a homeless man writes “Wash me I am dirty” in the dirt on the back window.

You know you will always put your foot in your mouth when anyone asks you to guess his or her age/weight/attractive factor.

You know you can know a lot about a person based upon how they treat the waiter.

You know that after a few New Castles…everyone seems funnier.

You know you are a dancer when you are actually looking forward to the move, Step Up.

You know you love music when you plan vacations around concerts.

You know you can always feel good or even just a little bit better.

You know that the most important thing is to Follow Your Bliss.

Tell me…what do you know?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Dreams Dreams Dreams

We all have weird vivid nutty dreams sometimes. I will show you mine if you show me yours….deal? By the way, I loved everyones comments about beliefs (Yes all of them) :)

Allright here we go….

I am sitting on a boat, looking at the sunset. I am waiting for that exact moment when the sun slips away and for a brief moment of time a green flash appears. There is a cool wind over the warm air and as I sit there with my feet dangling over the edge of the boat a voice echoes behind me…

“Who are you?” she asks.

I turn around and an old woman is standing behind me. She is little and yet seems strong. Lines give evidence of her age but her flashing, vibrant eyes contradict that. She sits down beside me and dangles her bare feet over the edge.


“I am Rachel.” I reply

The sun is nearing its decent for the day and the clouds are now illuminated beautiful colors of orange and purple.

“I didn’t ask your name dimwit. I asked who you were”

“Hey this is my dream! Are you allowed to call me a dimwit in my dream”?

Seeing her silence I decide to give her what she wants

“Well I am a girl, I am a girl who likes music and baseball and shopping and pretty things and writing…”

She stops me cold and replies, “I didn’t ask what you like. Damn you really don’t know do you.”

“Well, since you think I am some ass monkey who does not know red from green why don’t you TELL ME WHO I AM” I reply angrily.

“Watch the sunset.”

I look over and at the moment the sun disappears behind the ocean. A green flash emerges and then quickly dissipates and all that is left is the bright colors of the orange sky.

I sigh. This is some fucked up dream.

“Rachel. What you are is what you desire. Desire makes you who you are. Think about that and I will get back to you.”

With that she is gone and once again I am on the boat watching the stars emerge.

Suddenly, I am in the city. The big city. How did I get here? Oh yeah, this is a dream.

The streets are completely empty and I find myself sitting on the stoop of a pre war building.

I notice a man walking towards me. He is, also an older man. He is tall and distinguished with a head full of gray hair. His clothes seem outdated but he walks with a confident step.

“Hey Mister,” I shout at him, ‘Where did everybody go”?

“’Fraid it is just me Miss. But I am here to help you.” He smiles a warm smile and I notice his laugh lines crinkle a bit when he does.

“I don’t need help though.”

“Yes you do. You want to know the meaning of life.”

“Ummmm, doesn’t everyone”?

He hands me a box and asks me to open it to learn what the meaning of life is and then walks away.

I stare down at the box in my hands and turn to open the lock.

It is empty inside. Empty? The meaning of life is empty?

“Hey Old man!” I call after him. “I don’t get it. How can the meaning of life be nothing”?

He stops walking and turns around. His lips curve into a smug smile and he throws his hands up in the air.

“This is your dream, little one…why don’t you tell me”?

I hate mind games!

“Life is meaningless”?

“Well duh!” he replies. Do old people say “duh”?

“Then what is the point of living?” I say, getting a little upset.

“Good question. But then again if life were meaningless, then the point of living is what you decide to put in that box then huh”?

And, with that he walks away again.

Once again I am sitting on the boat and am alone. It is nighttime now and the only sounds are the gentle lapping of the water against the base of the boat. I hear a noise behind me and look to see a man. Not just any man. It is HIM!! He is here!!! Damn better than two old people! HE came!!!

He sits down beside me and grabs my hand. I look him over and smile.

“So are you ready?” he asks eagerly.

“Ready for what”?

“To fill that box with what you desire of course! You think I sent old wise people for nothing?!”

Ohhhhhhhh….now I get it!!

“Well what do I have to do”?

“OK grab my hand. Don’t worry I won’t let you go, cross my heart,” he says as he gives a slight wink.

I grab a hold of his hand and we stand up on the ledge of the boat.
“You ready”?

“I am ready.”

“Ready to get everything you desire?” he says softly

“I am ready damnit now tell me what to do”!!

Patience is not my strong suit. Obviously. Plus this is like the weirdest dream I have ever had.

“All you have to do is let go.”

And with that he tightens his grip on my hand and we jump into the dark sea below us.