Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Opinions...Everyone Has Got Them

“Rachel you are too much of a dreamer, put yourself in reality.”

“Rachel just focus and graduate and then worry about your career.”

“Rachel work on your career while you are in school.”

“Rachel, don’t date him.”

“Rachel, date him I like that one.”

“Rachel you need to stop coming across as overly confident.”

“Rachel be more realistic.”

“Rachel, you are part evil.”

“Rachel you drive me nuts.”

“Rachel don’t worry about it, go with the flow.”

“Rachel, you better start worrying about it.”

“Rachel, you look expensive, it is intimidating.”

“Rachel you are too nice.”

“Rachel you need to stop believing in your dream world and start looking at reality.”

“Rachel – never give up on your dreams.”

“Rachel I love you, and I know you will do what is best for you. Date who you want to date. Follow the career of what makes you happy. You will do great”

“Rachel, you look expensive.”

Now which one do you think I should listen to?

Opinions. Everyone has got ‘em. I got them coming at me in spades.

Except here is something I have learned. For every single person in my life there are that many opinions…and usually more.

Opinions are just what someone believes. What we believe is what comes to pass (consciously and subconsciously). And so here and now I have made the conscious decision to not listen to anybody (unless I want to) and just follow my intuition.

It has never failed me in the past. It sure as hell not gonna fail me now.

What are some things people have told all of you that make you get all mind chattery? Does anyone else have this happen to him or her?

When did it not become ok to trust our gut?

Joseph Campbell (amazing author) said, what I consider to be, three of the most powerful words ever spoken (EVER!!!)….”Follow your bliss.”

“Follow your bliss, and doors will open where there were none before…”

Now that is some advice I think I will take.


deepsat said...

i guess the best person to Opinionate about you is yourself!! the rest are just selfish desires especially the ones that force you to do something!!

here's one opinion from me...

Rachel, your posts are damn good!!


work in progress said...

"You're one of those people who looks at a half glass of water and says it's half full instead of half empty"

I had a teacher say this to me when I was in 10th grade. He knew very little about me, but because of his authority I didn't defend myself or tell him to go to hell. These days, I would do both.

Tiffanie said...

Yes, it happens to me all the time.

"He's the one for you"

"He's not the one for you"

"You've got it all together"

"Get it together, girl"

he he. Just listen to ourselves, that's all we can do.

You say tomato, I say tamoto

Mr. Burns said...

My parents and friends learned early on that I was a much better advice giver than an advice implementer. Oh, I'll listen, but damned if I'm not going to head down that rocky road and find out for myself.

That's where the intuition comes in, and I'd say that's your best bet (more opinions). That way your failures are yours, as well as your triumphs. You can learn from yourself, and I'm not sure that there's a more concrete answer that one will receive.

Scott said...

That is very cool that you mentioned Joseph Campbell... I am gettin one of his books pretty soon.

Screw the opinions of others, that is my opinion. Be yourself and love it.


Rachel said...

People don't usually give me their opinion. I don't know if that is bad or good.
I try to compliment while I am giving an opinion. I don't like to bring people down. I like to make them feel good.
One thing that people regularly tell me is that I am a good cook.

kat said...

you could just screw with their heads and no matter waht they say reply "thanks." that would go particularly well with the "rachel, you're part evil" bit. i'd laugh.

minijonb said...

this sounds like an episode of Friends: "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!"

here's my old standby line, to paraphrase Richard Feynman, "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"

i don't trust someone's opinion unless i pay them for it.

Spat said...

“Rachel, don’t date him.”

“Rachel, date him I like that one.”

Where's the "Rachel date ME!!!"...

Ah its true... we are about 5000km apart!

Rachel Heather said...

Deepsat - I know they are all well meaning opinions of people - and they only come from those that love me - but I think sometimes people forget I am all grows up now LOL

WIP - Now you confuse me because that sounded like he gave you a compliment (unless it is a typo and he actually said it the other way around?)

Tiffanie - I realized a while ago that I end up doing what is best for me when I DO listen to myself. It is such a load off my shoulders now. :)

Mr. Burns - I know how to dig really deep into my intuition and lately, by following it, I am much more at peace and happier.

Scott - which book? Myths to Live by is great! So is Hero with 100 faces. Oh hell all of his books are amazing.

Rachel - oh I started cooking a while ago and I have to say - some things I make pretty well. You should see my low carb cookies - yummy!!

Kat - Do you get that at work sometimes too? That is a good idea and of course I knew it would come from you LOL

minijonb - What people think about me has never been an issue cause it has not affected my self esteeem. However, my problem lay in people telling what they thought was best for me to do. Until I realized everyone thought I should do something different. Now it is like "oh fuck it Ill go my own way" :)

Rachel Heather said...

Spat - I am American we don't go in KM... :)

But yeah the opinions about guys I have been with and guys I am with is just tiring. I stopped listening to that one and started listening to me a long time ago.

-J said...

Ha! A post complaining about others opinions in which you insert one of your own that you borrowed from another. Ahhh, the power of myth.

I sometimes am offered the opions of my friends and sometimes it gets me thinking, but I only really listen to a couple of my friends because, in my opinion, their advice is better for me. I have friends that often only listen to my advice because it's rarely ever been wrong for them. The one thing I have learned in this world is everyone is going to do exactly what they want to do.

I believe Dumas said that people only ask for advice for one of two reasons - either so that they can specifically not follow it or so that they can have someone to blame if things don't work out.

Spat said...

Ok ok ... rougly 3100 miles LOL

Still as far!

Robert said...

you rock rachel!!! Amazing how such intelligent discourse is also nicely blened with sweetness boldness and a mischieviousness sprinkled with sexiness and fun all in one lovely lil person!!!! Do you EVER get on your aim??? LOL

CP said...

People Suck!

You Rock!


Jenna said...

My favorite quote from Oscar Wilde is " the only thing I can't resist is temptation"
I try telling my friends that I do know what I am doing...have to make my own mistakes so that I can better learn from them:)

wcdixon said...

i like what you have to say...

work in progress said...

Yeah, um, he said it the other way around. It was NOT a compliment. He called me a pesimist. Should have called me a poor typist, and bad proof-reader. Der.

Rachel Heather said...

J - well if it is advice about following your bliss I feel I must listen

I guess part of doing what I want is listening to what and who I want as well :)

I am just learning to trust myself - and it is feeling pretty good - and not listening to anything negative :)

Spat - ok now that you put it into miles I see it is far LOL

Robert - thank you very much

CP - Well thank you, you rock too. Not ALL people suck though. :) Some are freaking great. I am pretty lucky I have many great people in my life.

Jenna - friends are always well meaning but we all have different desires so it is hard to listen to someones well meaning advice when their desire might be different from our own. Temptation is very tempting. Especially when it has a great butt. LOL

WCD - thank ya and thanks for stopping by!

WIP - its ok I wont hold it against ya :) For the record I dont think you are a half empty glass person (well from reading your blog)

kat said...

well, people at work don't tend to tell me i'm evil all that much, but everyone certainly has an opinion about me, and if i don't agree i don't comply. i'll never satisfy everyone. hell, people critique my hair and jewelry on sunday mornings. screw them. oh, i also get comments on my langauge sometimes. ha.

not listening to every criticism has rater become a professional coping-mechanism.

Lydia said...

I believe that the best thing to rely on is one's own intuition, so good for you. I do think some unsolicited opinions can be well worth taking on board, but I've learnt to trust my own judgement in deciding which ones matter to me. But it's not always easy to maintain my deflector shield against the negative opinions. I swear sometimes it's on the fritz!

Jill said...

I can most definitely relate to what you're talking about. I literally just emailed a friend and said that I think I may stop blogging about my love life because the gazillion varying opinions are making my head spin!!

Question: what if you've lost touch with your instincts??

Keshi said...

I just listen to the ones that my instincts give a tick to :)


Keshi said...

btw thats a GORGEOUS new pic of u!

Check out my 'S-MILE-S' post ;-)


question girl said...

rachel, opinions are like ass holes, everybody has one....

so, since ass holes are good for exiting.... let the opinions that are like "crap" go in one ear & out the other & follow the ones you already had

however, i too agree that you need to listen to my opinion and keep on writing great posts