Sunday, February 06, 2005

What is my talent? That is the question at hand.

So I can write, but I am nowhere near the ability it takes to be a paid well-respected writer. I can dance. However, I have been untrained for so long, there are countless dancers better than me now. I have a commercial face. But, I am too short to do any type of modeling. I can run a few miles. But, I am too slow and can't run far enough for the marathon. So what is my talent?

I had auditions today to be a dancer for Disneyland. It started with 1,000 girls at 7:30 this morning and by 7:00 at night we were down to just one hundred. I, of course, was one of the last few to get cut, for reasons unknown except for I just was not big enough. But here is the thing. Everyone loved me. I can’t even count the number of, “isn’t she so cute,” “I love your face” and “I love your personality” type comments I got today. These were not just from the choreographers but from the other dancers as well. By the end of the day everyone knew my name and who I was (out of those left from the various cuts we went thorough). So is that my talent then? Is my one weapon for making it in this world the ability to stand out in a crowd? If so, where the hell will that get me? Everyone, I believe, has something about them that they excel in above all other things. Everyone is exceptional at something. My sister-in-law is exceptional at animation. Ethan is pure genius at web development and anything to do with computers. My boyfriend has an uncanny ability to bring a very unique and witty voice to anything he writes. My father is one of the best at what he does. My grandfather is a genius when it comes to business. Ian can sell ice to an Eskimo. Even my mother is exceptional at what she does. Well what can I do? I know philosophy, but I am not philosopher. I am a very good dancer, not enough to make money at it. My writing needs work but I got something going there. Really, I am beginning to wonder if my “talent” is relating to people. I am beginning to think that is my extraordinary gift. I can read others. I can get along with anyone. I stand out in a crowd. People remember who I am. I can listen but I sure as hell can talk for hours. Am I what they call a “people person”? Is there a job that goes with that? Someone just fill me in on what it is I can do, because I am at a loss.

I am no longer depressed about the job situation though. At least I know I can a) get work somehow, even if it is just an atmosphere character and b) work at the many restaurants that seem to be hiring. That is a start. And, where there is a start there sure as hell is an end. This end, I have no clue where or what it will be. Somehow though, someone will see that maybe they need someone who people remember and when that happens, it will be my turn in the spotlight.


ethank said...

Look, being good at things is always second to being passionate about something. If you have passion for something, then you are automatically good at it by virtue of the fact that you have focused your mental abilities toward one specific interest rather than letting them fragment over nothing.

I'm good at a lot of things, but the one thing I'm great at is hard for me to do for a living. That is frustrating. What I do know is that you have to be able to take what you love and somehow make it moldable into the things you have to do.

Amy said...

Ditto what Ethan said. And always remember, passion is more important than talent sometimes. It's persistence that leads to success in the end. Never give up, and all that wonderful stuff.

And while some may think I'm exceptional at animation, I'm always aware of the thousands of people who are way more exceptional than me. I actually think I'm rather average. There will always be someone farther along than you, but that always gives you something to strive for, right?

Joshua said...

Hon, you are a far better writer than you give yourself credit for. Your last few posts have been exceptional, you are definitely finding your "voice," even if you're not aware of it yet. Just keep at it and in due time you will have a better feel of what can come out of that cute head of yours.

And thanks for the kind words sweetheart. Nice to know there's someone in my corner too. ;)

Rob said...

The geek-cool post above is some nice writing. Forget blogging, get a column!