Monday, September 25, 2006

All Foreplay No Orgasm

All Foreplay No Orgasm

It is Friday night. Two people. One Angels fan and one Padres fan. Chris Young is pitching a No-Hitter and it is the top of the ninth with two outs to go. This would be the first in Padres history.

The tension is building up as superstitions come out.

“He is pitching a GOOD game. Don’t say it Don’t say it.”

(You cannot say someone is pitching a No-Hitter until the end of the game. Bad luck.)

The other team gets a home run. The first hit of the game. Chris Young disappoints. Padres still win but a feeling of dissatisfaction follows.

All foreplay.

Meanwhile back with the Angels game. The score is 4/4 and we are in the 12th inning. My fists are clenched. Time stops.

We lose.

No Orgasm.

So many things in life cause lots of buildup with no delivery. A disappointing game. A job we had high hopes for. That really hot guy that looked like he knew what he was doing.

We all need to start packing a punch outside the bedroom.

Give me an Orgasm.

Give me a No Hitter

Give me a win after a freaking long game.

Give me the climax.

Or I might just have to scream.


deepsat said...

good one!!! makes real sense!!


-J said...

I'd be more than happy to assist you in this, your hour of need. ;-)

Scott said...

Excellent analogy.


minijonb said...

continuing the baseball analogy, does the ballplayer reach "Orgasm" at second or third base, or does the player need to get to homeplate to fully reach orgasmic state?

sporting events did not give me any satisfaction this weekend. i'm grumpy.

Rachel Heather said...

Deepsat - see I make all kinds of sense

J - well thank you for the offer but unless you can hit a home run AND hit a home wouldnt help :)

Scott - thanks!

minijonb - have you ever known a ball player to reach orgasm at second base? I mean unless he had not played the game in a while. Thirs base I guess it would depend on what state third is located in and hopefully he reaches a full orgasmic state when he comes into home unless he goes soft and angers the fans

jibber.jabber said...

perhaps the next time you go out to a ball game you will experience a double header?

here's to hoping.


Mike Stickel said...

It must have been a looooooong weekend with all that build up and no release. ;^)

Robert said...

Mets have gotten the job done baby!!! WHHOOHOO!!! Giants on the other hand can you say *performance anxiety*??? I need basketball to start and Kobe to start scoring for the real game to happen!!! I do miss going to angels games Rach used to love going when Mr October was an angel!!!

Keshi said...

**So many things in life cause lots of buildup with no delivery

So true!

sometimes a long foreplay is better than a quick orgy LOL!


Jenna said...

so sorry that yopu guys didn'ty enjoy the sports this weekend I was feeleng great when it came to Packers, they did great *about time* if you ask me..but it was a sucky weekend I'll give you that!
As to going to the game, I give up, my team always looses (if I go to the game) unless it's hockey:)

Jill said...

Girlie!! Stop it, you're getting me all hot! ;)

NWO said...

What a great post! I loved this.

Rachel Heather said...

Jibber Jabber - yeah hoping indeed. I might have to take one for the team

Mike - you have no idea.

Robert - I am not much into basketball. I like tennis and baseball and so I have a long break for a while. it is sports celebacy

Keshi - yes long foreplay is great...when there is a finish line later on LOL

Jenna - I have a friend who whenever he goes to an A's/Angels game at Angels stadium the A's always lose. I might have to bring him along more next season.

Jill - when are you not hot?! LOL :)

NWO - thanks!:)

twobuyfour said...

Go ahead and scream. I was as frustrated as you when the first "1" went up in the box score. For what it's worth I'm sorry to hear your Angels have a finite ending date to their season.

Jump on the Padres' bandwagon, though. There's always room.

Chris said...

Honey, I'm a Red Sox fan. So trust me, I hear your battle cry.

Although I do find that a good Orgasm after a loss does wonders ;)

Sex & Moxie