Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Week of Lessons

The Best Sales Tactic Ever

“Hey check these shoes out” I say as I point out a pair of 600 dollar Manolos.

“OK I just lost my hard on.”

“What?? They are so cute.” I sound defeated. My ploy is not working.

I think for a minute.

“Well, picture me in them naked.”

“Alright, hard on is back.”

The shoes are mine.

Way Not to Pick Up A Woman

“Hey, do you like older men”?

“Well not too much older.”

This guy is 45. Drunk. Rich.

“Well how do you feel about spanking”?

Excuseeeeeeeeeeee moi?

Best Way To Achieve Anything – Assume you already have

“What are you”?

“I am a hot ass writer is what I am,” I say confidently.

“But, you have not been published yet,” Mr. Obvious states.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything”?!?!

Best Way to Ignore - Walk Away

“Hey Rach, I am sorry about the Angels.” I get from a phone call

GO OAKLANDDDDDD – I get from my A’s fan friend as a text,

I look at the computer.

I look at the phone.

“I gotta go to bed,” I say as I hang up the phone.

I turn off the computer

Head to my pillow.

And pout till bedtime.

Best Way To Figure Out What You Want

“I think my problem is I am not sure what job to get,” I say to my mentor.

“Well, that’s easy, ask yourself what you would do for free Then do that.”

“That’s easy. Writing of course!” I exclaim.

I think for a minute…

“But, I need to find a job to make money first. You have to work hard for the money.”

“Rach, if that were true, ditch diggers would be millionaires.”


“Bottom line Rach, do what you love and the money will follow,” she says with a sincere smile.

And the final lesson learned this week…

Best Way to Get Anything You Want


: )


Rachel Heather said...

testing 1. 2 .3

to all the people who have emailed me this morning about not being able to comment

try it now i think it works

-J said...

Dammit, now I want those shoes. ;-)

Rachel said...

I typically don't use the "Life's Lesson" format.
I prefer the "Note To Self" format.
Note to self.... giving cats a bath before having them declawed is not a good idea.
Note to self .... telling someone they sound like Donald Duck because they have a speech impediment probably will not be perceived as a compliment. (Had to teach this one to D this week. He loves Donald Duck so thought that the girl would be happy about his comment. Yeah, didn't happen that way)

Deana said...

Those were great....I was just visiting from Shop Girl's place.

Jenna said...

Ok so first thing "where is the picture of shoes?"

Ok that never worked for me,guys simply don't care about shoes...But I still love buying them(shoes:)

I like younger men:)

Try talking less is my new leson, so far not working;(

Rachel Heather said...

Yeah! So some people can comment. Some people can't. Blogger is pissing me off.

J - sorry hon, I am willing to bet the shoes only work on women. :)

Rachel - Thanks for the cat heads up. It is good to know! And I am laughing my ass off about the Donald Duck compliment. :)

Deana - Thanks and thank you for visiting :)

Jenna - no guy understands our obsession with shoes. That is why if we associate shoes (or anything) with being nekked - then they "get it". :)

I like older men :) (but not too much older. not 20 years like that 45 year old LOL. But a lil older is good.

Scott said...

Ummm picture of the shoes? Picture of naked woman in shoes is much more important. Haha... men are so predictable and easy to manipulate aren't we???


minijonb said...

Blogger is a fickle mistress...

anyway, ...

"do what you love and the money will follow"

i love doing nothing: where's the money in that, eh?

NWO said...

Note to self: Love younger women who like to be spanked.

-J said...

Rach ~ Yes, I figured I would try to use them on a girl ... See it's often not the shoes I want so much as what's in the shoes. The woman always makes the shoes.