I went to bed last night and asked my subconscious the question. No particular question really...just wanted some answers. It worked. I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I had answers to questions and my hollowness was slightly filled. It is still there; there are no quick fixes. I know I am going through a big life change. I know though that I had a smile on my face today, which I had not had in a long time. Here are some things I came up with, some I have known for a while but forget sometimes to put into action. Some I just came to realize.

1. No matter how hard one tries, you cannot change people. No matter what you do, how you act, or how nice you are. The only thing you can ever do is be yourself and the RIGHT people will be in your life for the RIGHT reasons at the RIGHT time.

2. Sometimes we go through tough times. There is always a reason for this. These times are essential for growth. To get out of tough times is simple. Easier said than done though. Get quiet. Do things you enjoy and don't think for one second about anything bad that you don't like. Don't think about anything bad that is going on. Focus on the good and by pure physics alone you will attract more good.

3. To solve a problem get reason out of the way. Quiet the mind. Take a walk and the answer will probably just come to you. Like Dostoevsky said, any intellectual activity is an actual disease.

4. Loneliness happens. Whether it is lack of a relationship, or friends moving away...sometimes we get lonely. There is a cure for loneliness and it is just to pour your heart into an activity. It can be reading or writing or school. Eventually you will be so busy with that and you will meet new friends and they will be the right friends or the right relationship. Now at the moment I don't want a relationship and I am sad my best friends moved away, but I wrote for four hours today and had Dumas to keep me company.... I forgot to be lonely.

5. Vibrations. There is no matter. Everything exists in vibrations, high and low. Like attracts like, thoughts of anger (i.e. low vibrations) will only attract angry people. If you are a high vibrational person, angry people bounce off of you. This is not hocus pocus psychobabble. This is physics. Actually in the world of metaphysics this is called resonance. If our vibrations don't match up there is a minimal response. In the same way a brick skyscraper can have major damage in an earthquake but a bamboo hut can sway easily and then return to normal in the same quake...
This is where the term "roll of my back" comes from. Meaning if a hateful person bugs us, we probably have a degree of hate within us. What we do not like in others we do not like in ourselves...resonance.
There are entire fields of study devoted to this. The law of attraction, the spontaneous fulfillment of desire, etc. is all examples of this study. It is weird and interesting and baffles me. But part of it makes sense. Every religion I have studied relates back to this. Every psychology and philosophy book I have read relates back to this. It all connects here.

6. Some days we are depressed and that is ok. There are black clouds. Everything seems gloomy. But, clouds always move. We can't beat ourselves up about being depressed one day. Everything always passes. It is ok to be irrational, just have to role with it until you feel better.