Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Most of the time we can't pick and choose who we become friends with. They just sort of choose us, or we run into each other and grab on for dear life for however long we are supposed to. If we try to choose friends that we are not supposed to be friends with, the balance of ones life becomes fragmented and harsh. You can't force someone into your life, someone has to enter. It may not be who you choose, but it will be who you need.

I have been learning this lesson a lot, as do most people when they grow up I think. I want to be friends with people I can't be friends with. I don't want guys that want me. The friends I need are here and that is a lesson I have learned, everyone is a teacher.
In the friends we have, there are aspects we like and parts we don't like. I do believe there is evil in all of us. I also believe we have to accept that evil if we have to love ourselves. So that means we also have to accept the evil in our friends as well. I find this harder. But, the hardest is accepting it in my non friends. By non friends, I mean people I know that for some reason or another I am not friends with. Usually it is a personality clash, a moral clash, an ego clash, or we just don't fit. Sometimes people don't want to be friends with me, my dark side is too much. Or sometimes I reject another. It is these people I have a harder time accepting their dark side. These people are still teachers though. I have no idea what they are going to teach me, but it will be interesting to find out.

There are a few people I want into my life. There are a few people I want as friends. There are a few people I love right now. There are a few people I could love. Maybe that is enough...

3 mile run today. I am kicken some ass!!! I think I can do the half marathon in six months if I keep going at this rate.

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