“Hey where are you? Why is it so noisy”?
“I am at THE Nordies sale, remember”?
I have my ear-piece in and I am talking on the phone as I make my way through the crowded aisles full of very aggressive women spending more money than they do in an entire year while their husbands, boyfriends and fathers read the newspaper and groan at the café upstairs.
Yes I am talking about the Anniversary Sale, a National Holiday in my neck of the woods. The ladies line up at 6:00 a.m just so they can be the first to grab the heavily discounted fall lines before they either a) sells out (which the hot items often do on the first day) or b) before the prices go up in two weeks.
This sale is the only sale where NEW clothes go on sale first. It is all new. It is all wanted. And, it turns normally dignified women into raging loonies.
“Rach..hellooo..you still there”?
“Yeah I am still here. It is nuts”!
“I almost forgot you and that sale thing. Hey do they have men’s clothes too”?
“Of course they do!” I say with excitement. “It is all very hot, hot, hot”!
“Well do they have any of those shirts, ya’ know, that I wear”?
Well isn’t that typical guy speak. That is like asking someone if they have that movie. You know? That movie? That movie with the guy in it? Seriously.
“What shirts? Which ones? You have a lot of shirts.”
“Ya’ know with the thing. The thing on the front of it.” He replies.
See what I mean?
If this were a woman she would be telling me the brand, the size, the date of manufacture and what shoes she might have that go with it. But no, this is a guy and all I get is, “the thing.”
Hearing my laughter he responds, “Well it’s like a lizard.”
“You mean an alligator”?
“Yes YES. That’s the one. Can you see if they have those”?
“It is called Lacoste, dumby, and I will see what I can find.”
I hang up the phone and head over to the mens section. It is far less crowded and no one seems to be fighting.
I look to the right towards the women’s handbags and notice two women arguing over the last brown suede Coach bag.
I let out a sigh and wonder…
Men don’t give a shit what we wear. They only care what is underneath what we wear. So I have to wonder who women are really dressing up for? Is it for ourselves? Is it for other women, like a competition? No guy I have ever known or been with has given two flying hoots whether my jeans are Frankie B or Frankie Generic. Now gather, men seem to be progressing toward dressing in finer clothes (even if they have no idea what it is called) But, the obsession is still very much one sided.
I head over to the jewelry section, eyeing the diamonds and pearls and ponder the thought… Is it worth all the fuss? Is it worth all the time and energy?
Then I spot it.
Beautiful Pave diamond necklace. Fit for only a princess. The facets of the diamonds twinkle and my eyes light up.
Someone once said that the most sexy a women could look is naked wearing nothing but diamonds. Well that is fashion too.
So is it worth it?
I look around and notice everyone smiling.
Yeah, I think I’ll stick around.