Thursday, May 20, 2004

It is the end of an era. I finally watched "Not Fade Away." The final episode of Angel, and the end of Buffyverse as we know it. This is so sad. I feel like something has been taken away from me goddamnit! Stupid freaking WB! They take away the good shows. At least Joss is doing a movie based on Firefly and hopefully he will do a Buffy/Angel movie. The final episode was everything it should have been. They did not fade away. We might not win the fight, but we can sure as hell die trying and that is all that matters. That is what the show has always been about. It was one hell of a way to go.

So my mother is really upset because of some problems at work and my grandpa called me because she was not listening to him about how to fix it. He thought that maybe she would listen to me. So I called her up and I tried but the problem is she is too wrapped up in all the office muck. I tried to tell her she is focusing on the wrong things. I told her you can't focus on the future or you end up pissing on the present. If you just focus on the present the future works itselfs out. I also told her that nothing anyone says to you is because of you. She did not really understand this. SO I tried explaining me and my Grandfathers philosophy to her. I explained to her that nothing is personnel. Any insult (or compliment if you want to take it that way) someone says to you is not because of you it is because of them. It is because of their own demons or reality. So if a boss or senior partner says a nasty to her it has nothing to do with my mother it has to do with him, his own demons. The key is to not react. If you don't react, then the reason becomes clear. If you insult back then the reason is never clear. Wow it is easier to explain on paper (or computer screen)

Kipling said:
If you can meet Triumph with Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same

it is the same things with insults and compliments...Impostors
you can believe whatever you want to believe. I told my mother that she should not make these partners the master of her moods because they do things based on their own ego. Her reacting just feeds their own egos. I am not sure I helped but she sounded a little lighter on the other end of the line.

I have Long Beach pride all weekend with Brandon. It is a parade and a festival with singers like Patti LaBelle etc. Plus 60,000 people and 5 dollar water. This is going to be one fun weekend, that is if I am sober enough to remember it.

I feel bad because next weekend Lyndseys boyfriend Jared is coming into town to visit and we are all supposed to show him around town on Friday night and Saturday night. Only problem is I have prince with my mom Friday night and Primus with the brothers and the boys Saturday night and Lyndsey is going to be so disappointed. I will just meet up with them after the concert but I know she was so excited for Jared to meet her friends. Even though I have such a bad feeling about this guy I have to admit I am curious to meet him to. If anything to give him the third degree about what type of guy he is. I don't think he is good enough for Lyndsey I just have a feeling. Hopefully I am wrong. I could be. Maybe his phone voice just sounds rash.

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