Walk Unafraid. I'll Be Clumsy Instead.


I woke up this morning feeling 100% better. Ok, well 100% better mentally, but not physically. This cold better leave soon so I can get back to my training. The half marathon is in three weeks and that whole weekend is filled with tons of action. But mentally, I felt good and thankful and I knew the lesson I had to learn to a T. Plus whenever I find myself falling back on old questions…I have all the men in my life there giving me a good kick in the ass to take me back to me. How did I get so lucky?

K called to check in and said I sounded like a dead person. Well that made me laugh at least.

I got an ecard from C that is sooo cute and the girl in it is blue because I am talking like a smurf right now

A gave me a good kick in the ass today. He explained recent events from a guy’s way of thinking and it helped me understand a bunch.

B just takes no shit

E is the best brother in the world

Mr. Cool still gives me butterflies

Grandpa once again is right

D needs to feel better too so I send him big kisses

R loves me even when I am sweaty with messy gym hair

N you piss me off because you are always right damnit.

And for the first time in my life I feel I am about to get what I really deserve. And for the first time I think others got what they deserve too, not someone better than me, but someone better for them. I can’t be a feisty firecracker to everyone just like every guy can’t handle being my Mr. Big. I held on because I was afraid to let go of someone who should have just been my friend. And to him – I only wish him happiness because he was better as a friend anyway.

And my options? Enticing. Toe Curling, blood pressure rising, enticing. Because like Carrie said, “accept nothing less..than butterflies”

I am pretty damn lucky right now. I guess I just had to open my eyes and ask myself what I wanted. Well besides for the horrible cold that has kept me in bed for three days :(